I Woof not take a bath

I love my family!
They treat me with respect, they treat me equally.
My pack, my source to unlimited food and love.
I even got a big mattress to survive the winter 

Sunbathing Time

But, there’s one thing that’s bugging me:
they keep telling me that I need a bath which I truly madly deeply hate,
with the excuse that i stink like bad fish.

So, I found an interesting article that encouraging people to
wash their dogs once a week/month as long as they’re using
gentle pet shampoo and conditioner.
I’ve got to admit that article is logical, if the subject of this matter is my dad...
I'm a different case, and I have several claims why I don’t belong in a shower: 

1. I’m too big to sleep on their bed

Some people claim that I’m too big for german shepherd,
My weight is 45k”g in another word: 45 reasons not to climb on a bed.

2. No one is allergic to me or my fur

If anyone allergic they can file a complain to my father.
Untill than, don’t be such a baby it’s just a little sneeze 

3. I’m using mud minerals as lotion

4. I’m too lazy and too hungry to be active

conclusions: 
In the name of  the sence of smell of all dogs let’s get the facts straight:

You’re STINK! Trust me, I can smell your feet from miles away…

But, I’m willing to compromise and use dry shampoo and take a bath once a month.

I would like to know how often do you wash your dog?

WOOF ya LATER